Let’s Talk About Making Decisions!

Do you struggle with making decisions? Big or small?

I know many people who are great at making decisions, and others who are not so much. And guess what? I was one of them. I have been known to pause a little too long looking at a restaurant menu- not sure of which option to pick. (Like it’s going to matter a few hours later- right?) I have been presented with job opportunities and career choices- and struggled with knowing whether to accept or in which direction to go.

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Now, this is all real life and of course it is a good thing to put thought and consideration into what you choose and to know the likely outcome and to understand your own reasoning and values behind your choices. But what I’m talking about is when you struggle – a little too much. Do you find yourself overthinking, spinning your wheels, sitting on the fence for too long or asking the opinions of friends and family on matters that only YOU can really know the answer to? What this comes down to, at the end of the day, is not trusting yourself. The first time I heard this, I really had to think about it and wrap my head around it. Life has a funny way of presenting you with what you need to learn. You can hear something from someone else or read about it in a book- but until you have really gone through something in your own life and come out the other side stronger and better for it- you don’t really know it.

So what is this business of not trusting yourself all about really? It can be about a lot of things, different for each individual. What I see often is people who are highly intelligent and in-depth thinkers that see things from multiple perspectives that can get themselves going in circles rather than moving forward confidently. These are amazing traits to have – and if this sounds like you- give yourself a little pat on the back for being YOU. Here are some tips to grow your decision making muscle, increase your confidence and eliminate one heck of a lot of stress from your life.

Listen to your gut.

We have all heard this before- but wow, is it ever true. You have answers within you that you are not hearing clearly unless you really tune into them. You know deep down what you really want, what makes you happy, what excites you, what you want for your future, what feels right and what doesn’t. Try to eliminate the “what-ifs” and the fear based thinking. The truth is- anything can happen in life at any time. So trying to predict the future is a waste of time and energy. What I do know is that the future belongs to those who create it. Following your heart, living in the present and making the most of each day will create a future for you that you love and is authentically you.

Listen to what your body tells you.

If someone acts in a way that is out of character, or tells you something that doesn’t sit quite right with you- listen to that. Your gut will not lead you in the wrong direction. We just have to dig deep to be able to hear it.  I am the person who always sees the best in others and lives life optimistically and idealistically- and I love that about myself. But listen to those gut feelings – what feels right, what doesn’t and don’t be afraid to acknowledge it- and trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

Don’t be afraid to speak your truth.

When you don’t know what else to do, the truth will set you free. Sounds a bit cliché, right? Often times we bottle things up and don’t share our feelings because we don’t want to hurt someone or we try to figure it out completely inside of our own minds before taking action. Once you have the courage to speak your own truth and acknowledge things for what they are, situations can relax, change form and doors will open for new opportunities and for things to reorder themselves in a higher way. When you don’t know what else to do- speak your truth.

Eliminate the head chatter - and give yourself a break.

We couldn’t function in life without using our minds.. but sometimes we use them too much. Your heart and your higher level of awareness know a lot more than you think – you just have to quiet the chatter in your mind to hear and to trust yourself. Sometimes getting quiet is the best way to get clear. Most great ideas and moments of clarity come during exercise, time in nature, or when you are giving your mind a break instead of trying to force the answers to come.

Pay attention to synchronicities and what life is showing you.

Life has a funny way of showing us what we need to know. Have you ever thought of someone that you want to get in touch with- and then they call you or you bump into them on the street? When you are in the flow of life the universe will show you what you need to know. Do you have a gut instinct to contact someone or to go for something that seems just out of your reach? Follow that instinct- it is your higher self-speaking to you- and it knows more than your mind. Have you ever had a bad feeling about something and come to find out your hunch was right on the money? When someone shows you who they really are- believe them.

Talk it out with a trusted friend, coach or mentor.

Many people come to understand their ideas and feelings by talking it out and getting feedback. Friends can be a great source of support, comfort and effective sounding boards. Unless you are confiding in someone who truly knows you on a personal level, be cautious about taking too much advice from friends who are often thinking from their own biased perspective.  A coach or counsellor can provide you with a professional, neutral feedback and insight to help you get in touch with finding your own answers.